At last, the burning bunny question has been answered. The most lucid minds of University of Victoria, combined with the agile intellect of dozens of diligent public servants of Wildlife, Public Health, Bunny Rights as well as the voices of tender hearted but stridently voiced bunny activists etc etc. have severed the thread of red tape surrounding our iconic campus bunny population. After all , 4000 (and increasing) bunnies almost outnumbered the number of eager students, and what a lousy example those promiscuous bunnies made for our tender innocent youth...I mean, all that sex on campus!
The bunnies attained status of 'wild life' as soon as they would be abandoned on the green pastures of the extensive University parks. That means, no hunting, no feeding, no hugging, no approaching closer than xxx meters, no capturing for eating, no taking home as pets, no sterilising (even if it is offered gratis by a number of vets), no exporting over international borders. The traumatic change from domestic to wild status did not faze the bunnies, but just made things a little more complex for the problem solvers.
So the rabbits hopped forth and multiplied as they are wont to do, digging their little warrens in the most inappropriate places, even the football fields, delighting hundreds of visitors who fed them copiously with all things rabbit junk food, rising to branding status for the university, attracting students who thought it awesome to be taught in the company of rabbits, and dropping rabbit poop whenever and wherever the urge hit them.
Poisoning, shooting, trapping and euthanizing, sterilizing, adopting, constructing a rabbit resort all came up as 'solutions', even eating them was put forward as an option. All these alternatives met with passionate opposition apart from undergoing lengthy and expensive assessments by all involved, whilst the rabbits kept at it.. and at it... and at it.
Behind the Student Union building ....composting University style.
This black beauty was so fat, he could barely hop.
This black beauty was so fat, he could barely hop.
Campus Wildlife population density.
The judgement has been made and sentence passed:
400 rabbits will stay on campus (to maintain the University's image as a rabbit friendly place) , albeit with parts of their anatomy missing. This will probably be the largest concentration of wildlife with their tubes tied and their little cojones removed.
3600 rabbits (also slightly altered) will be sent to (get this) Texas. where they will be welcome into adoptive families and rabbit refuges.
One may ask - why Texas???? Maybe they need a third National Party beside the Elephant and the Donkey Parties? Maybe they will be employed to dig around for some Texan Oil sands? Maybe it's all a ruse, and Texans are hungry for Bun-Tex-Burgers? Maybe Texas Tourism needs a new slogan: get a jump on Texas?
The shores of America as seen from Vancouver Island....maybe there will be a Statue of Bunny Liberty somewhere over there to greet the new immigrants.
The next question is: how are they getting to their new homes? 3600 bunnies hopping onto the Coho ferry and hot footing it down Interstate 5 does not seem a viable choice. Are bunny passports required, all with their individual 'I am fixed' certificate?
So far, no news in that regard. Everyone is still busy walking the lawns of the university, enticing the bunnies into pet cages - quite an affront to wildlife, I suppose.
