Endangered Species...

The hottest current controversy in Victoria, Capital of the Province of BC, rages around - BUNNIES, the domesticated version.
What to do? They run wild, almost floppy ear to floppy ear on the hallowed grounds of higher education, turning University of Victoria campus and its surrounds into a Playboy overload zone, with enough cute fluffy tail to fill a hundred centrefolds.
Rabbits doing what they do best and most often, a few discarded Easter bunnies, surplus birthday-presents for the grand kids, and misbegotten red-eyed Christmas Rudolfs on the loose, multiplied - and still multiplying - quite predictably into a vast rabbit horde.
They are everywhere, on sidewalks, round-abouts, embankments, on-ramps, off ramps - everywhere. They are about to undermine Higher Education with their extensive tunnels and warrens under lecture halls and campus. Their underground habitat expands and spreads in step with Victoria's Condo developments - only cheaper.
They turn the sports grounds into holey terrors, and authorities are worried that some unfortunate football player may fall into a rabbit hole or - how dreadful - pick up a germ should he skin his knee in bunny poop.
The situation is grave. Animal rights activists are hopping mad at the mere suggestion of solving The Problem.
And the softhearted populace still feeds the almost tame critters with delicious little mini carrots and bits of lettuce, or maybe nachos and hamburgers, either works as if they have been fed aphrodisiacs.
Mothers bring their little kids to pet the soft darlings - and the specter of another rabbit-petting induced disease rises out of the closely cropped grass.
The editorials in the local paper, are getting nasty.
The most benign, maybe somewhat harebrained suggestion proposes to catch 150 of them, have them sterilized by an approved veterinarian and find 'good homes' for them. But what about the other 10,000??? The Animal Rights people are protesting, that such an atrocious act would infringe on the copulational rights of wild life.
Some people suggest that they should be rounded up and gently and humanely sent to rabbit heaven. That pricks up the ears of the heavy duty professional protesters: banners, boards, posters, slogans, sit ins and all. And what does one do with the thousands of sad tiny cadavers - mass burial in Watership Downs?
Some writers propose, that all that potential dinner protein could be a boon to Victoria's homeless people situation. Supply foodbanks with butchered rabbit. After all, rabbit filets taste pretty good, the French have volumes of cookbooks describing how to turn them into mouthwatering delights. Lapin a la Pacifique?
The main in gredient is hopping around for the taking.
The old Canadian tradition of trapping could be revived, and may stimulate big game tourists from abroad to leave off shooting bears and moose and take home a stuffed rabbit instead.
One problem solving suggestion went a step further, and proposed putting our equally fecund Canada Geese in the same stew - but only after they have been 'finished' with grain. (Pate de Fois Geese?)
That could put Splash, Victoria's official goose chasing Border Collie out of a job. However, as a civil servant he may qualify for employment insurance payments, he has put in the qualifying number of weeks of work.
Whatever geese he chases out of Beacon Park, put down landing gear a couple of miles down the road and do their 'juice though a goose' thing every 30 seconds in a different, but equally unsuitable location.
An investigation into the daunting challenge is underway...
We happily bar-be-que baby lambs, baby pigs, baby cows - all adorably cute - after having a butcher (processing plant?) do the icky stuff.
What Carnage!
Someone may send a chicken transporter truck to UVIC, catch the little delicacies and load them up, have someone else do the unavoidable icky bit, and then some carnivorous humans EAT THEM.
That goes for the geese, too.
What Carnage!